In the pecking order of cool cyclists, triathletes are generally pretty low on the ladder – An eager triathlete using tri-bars is probably put below even sportive riders racing downhill for a strava segment, whilst wearing a replica World Champion jersey. The coolest cyclists are those road racers who follow THE RULES. Time triallists chasing fast times up and down dual carriageways, like me, are just about tolerated, but if you ever want a cheap joke in cycling, just mention the road handling skills of triathletes! Always worth a laugh!
Q. Why do roadies never wave at triathetes?
A. They don’t want them to crash when they take their hand off the aero bar when waving back.
Then, even worse, there are those triathletes who turn up to a group ride of road bikers with tribars, shirts without arms and even helmets on back to front!
– How many ‘RULES’ of cycling does this break? Photo Kevin Saunders
Q. How do you know your date with a triathlete is half over? A. He says “but enough about me – wanna hear about my bike?”
At least in time trials, we band those vests without arms; I say, it’s all a bit too much for a Sunday morning. But, really, it’s because we’re a bit jealous of those bulging upper arms that triathletes seem to have – it make us cyclists with stick thin arms feel pretty insecure.
Q. What’s the difference between God and an Ironman? A: God doesn’t think he’s an Ironman.
Recently, I was marshalling a beginners’ triathlon near Bristol. A few notes.
It was nice to see 100 people racing on any old banger bike. Usually a hybrid or mountain bike, often with mudguards and panniers. A reminder you don’t need to spend £1,000 on a set of wheels to enjoy cycling.
Beginner triathlete.
In my book – racing with a shopping basket, pretty much beats the coolness factor of Mario Cippolini wearing an old style cloth cap racing in Milan San Remo.
Impeccable handling skills.
The course where I was marshalling involved a right turn and (coming back) a left turn. The cyclists were very good at not cutting corners (unlike cars, who nearly all seemed to cut their right hand turn.
In triathlon drafting is illegal. I only saw one guy draft, but because he was only going 6mph up the hill and talking to the guy in front, I didn’t have the heart to report it. There’s only so much aero benefit you can get at 5mph.
I was marshalling at the top of a hill, and many riders found the hill really hard work. But, they seemed to enjoy the challenge.
As a signed up member of the triaptoplod club I have to say … that Ironman joke was really funny!
Glad you had a good time marshalling, we do really appreciate you guys.