Dr Hutch’s Cycling Weekly Column

I always enjoy reading Dr Hutch’s (Michael Hutchinson) column in Cycling Weekly. It’s easy to get caught up in cycling debates – the merits of UCI’s incomprehensible rules, compulsory cycle helmets, the best way to pump up a tyre, the amount of coverage cycling magazines should give to domestic time trials.  There are cycling forums full of endless very serious debate. I like Hutch’s dry sense of humour – it’s a tonic to everything that is obviously wrong with the cycling world. Satire and wit really is the best way to deal with the Gnomes and rules of UCI. ( a frequent target of Hutchinson).

world-brompton-championships

M.Hutchinson – World Brompton Champion, Irish TT Champion and the UCI’s greatest supporter in cycling journalism.

His columns don’t always hit the mark. But, that’s the nature of the humour and writing styles. It’s better to miss a few times and have something original and worthwhile.

I’m not a great fan of cycling magazines they tend to be quite formulaic. It’s hard to write reviews comparing two carbon fibre bikes costing £3,000 – which are essentially the same. It’s hard to get excited about the annual regurgitation of articles like ‘how to climb like a pro’. It’s good to have a completely different take on cycling. Even if it doesn’t always hit the mark, it often does. I doubt his column  is top of the UCI’s reading list. There is little humour in the 50 page UCI rulebook, but if you really want to understand the Olympic track cycling read this week’s column. (which is particularly good)

I particularly enjoyed the reference to Swimming’s 40 gold medals – ‘why don’t you just choose the stroke you would use if being chased by a crocodile’. I find swimming pretty tedious as it is – I don’t think we would choose to have 4 different versions of the same slow crossing of a 50 mile pool if we were starting the Olympics from scratch. Backstroke, and butterfly, just aren’t as exciting as seeing Chris Hoy sprint at 60km/h around the velodrome. I know I’m biased, but so what. It doesn’t alter the fact cycling has no individual endurance event on the track.

If you’re frustrated by the Olympics:

‘Do Not confuse a cycle track with a cycle lane. They are different. Cycle tracks are opened specially for a Games. In contrast, cycle lanes get closed because it turns out when comes to promoting a healthy lifestyle, nothing tops a plutoract in a BMW five-series.

Amidst the satire, there is very relevant criticism of the UCI’s decision to abolish the iconic 4Km pursuit. I’ve complained about this, in less humorous fashion before.

The final words I’ll copy come straight from Terry Wogan who apparently once explained the meaning of the Keirin.

Keirin – Terry Wogan defined this as ‘six hungry lads chase a pizza delivery bike and the last one over the line gets no pizza’

Cycling Weekly often publish his articles late. This is one from last week on the Tour de France.

Somehow it’s funnier in print. And I don’t know why Cycling Weekly publish online, his column is the only reason I pay £2.99 (well that and the 10% chance of seeing my name in the results for Wobbly Wheelers 25 mile TT. We all know that Cycling Weekly should give coverage of domestic time trials at least 6 pages, like in the good old days, when the Tour de France was a mere embarrassing footnote after the classifieds. But, that’s another story…

BTW: Don’t miss The Hour by Michael Hutchinson – an account of the honourable failure of a British / Irish Cyclist – like in the good old days of heroic Briitsh failure before all this – being the best in the world malarkey.



One Response to Dr Hutch’s Cycling Weekly Column

  1. tejvan August 7, 2012 at 7:58 am #

    Just to add. My great claim to fame is beating M.Hutchinson in a time trial, when I was just riding a road bike. The event was national hill climb champs on Long Hill 3% gradient – where a time trial bike made little difference.

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