Silly Helmets

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I have a theory that the time getting ready for a bike ride is roughly inversely proportional to the time you spend on the bike. Go out for a 30min recovery ride, and you can guarantee you will have to spend 30 mins looking for your glasses, helmet, shoes, and then fixing a loose bolt (but only after spending 10mins finding right the size allen key). When you finally get out of the door, you’ve forgotten your pump so you have to go back home, unlock door – find pump and go through whole rigmarole again. By the time you finally get riding, it’s either dark or time to go back home.

I’m currently visiting Yorkshire and I had to carry two bikes with me (road bike and TT bike). I anticipated packing two bikes with real trepidation; it’s really difficult to fit in two bikes in the car, whilst remembering every accessory, two sets of wheels, two sets of clothes plus a suitcase for normal clothes.

Anyway, I thought I had done really well. At least this time I didn’t forget my pedals or front wheel like I have in the past.

But, when I disembark in Yorkshire, I realise the one thing I’ve forgotten – my ordinary road helmet. Now, because I’m staying with my mother I have to use a helmet (of course, if my mother is reading, I should say I always ride with a helmet). But, the only helmet I have is my time trial helmet. Quite frankly my time trial helmet is uncomfortable, and more important looks downright stupid, especially when you’re riding a road bike on a gentle recovery ride.

But, I’m also too much of a Yorkshireman to go out and buy a new helmet. So rather than spend £30 I decided to suffer squashed ears and the unconcealed joy of schoolchildren laughing at my predicament.

BTW: It’s just typical that the day I go for a ride with a silly pointy hat, every single children under the age of 16 has to be standing idly by the side of road because their teachers have gone on strike.

When kids aren’t at school, it seems the only thing they can do is look for something to laugh at – like stupid cyclists wearing silly hats. Now I could have tried to explain to them that actually, I’m being very economical in saving £30 and keeping my mother happy at the same time, but I decided the best course of action was to keep riding – trying vainly to maintain an exterior posture of utter calm and indifference to the various degrees of sniggering and outright laughter from the pavements.

After all I’m a cyclist, I shave my legs for fun and wear tight one piece skin suits – If I can’t ride a pointy hat without worrying about what some school children might think, I can’t really call myself a proper cyclist.

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8 Responses to Silly Helmets

  1. Wheezer2 July 11, 2011 at 9:01 am #

    Lady in car to driver: “Not sure them trousers are aerodynamically beneficial for a time trialist, love”.

    Driver: “At least he’s got his belt on!”.

  2. Doug July 5, 2011 at 5:34 pm #

    I bet he drinks beetroot juice.

  3. Fan July 4, 2011 at 12:35 am #

    HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! (I’ve got tears in my eyes laughing so much)

  4. emily :) July 2, 2011 at 1:21 pm #

    hiya’
    Your lucky, I’d rather be riding a century on my grans folding bike than sitting inside with a broken collar bone watching the VERY rare yorkshire sunshine and not been able to go for a ride for….FIVE WEEKS and thats the very ,very bare minimum :(
    This month I was going to do my first race and join my first club :( (we did go to the club to watch and there all very nice)
    I’m in such a state that I will sit on the window seat looking over the valley (yorkshire may be hilly but is sure is pretty) and every time I see what might be a cyclist I get the binoculers and spy on them (yes I am that weird)
    Well at least the tour starts today :)
    Emily

    • Lewis September 5, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

      I spent my entire summer with my arm in a cast. Just finished uni and don’t have a full time job yet, so I was going to do nothing but cycle, pretty much.

  5. Hortoris July 2, 2011 at 7:46 am #

    Star Treking across the cycling universe

    Beam my helmet up Scotty

  6. Samuel July 1, 2011 at 4:32 pm #

    Is it you on the pic ? did you take that pic for the post ? because I love that dedication!

    • tejvan July 1, 2011 at 4:40 pm #

      Yes, it is me. I was testing aero positions outside my house

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